Harriette Cole: How do I discourage my friend from having frivolous surgery?
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend wants to get a Brazilian butt lift. It seems like everybody is doing it these days.
I did some research and saw that it’s basically a form of liposuction. A lot of people get it, but it worries me.
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with her body. More than that, it is actual surgery. My friend has a number of health issues. I just think it’s irresponsible for her to do elective surgery when there could be complications.
She’s considering going out of the country to do it, too, so that it can be more affordable.
How can I discourage her from a surgery that seems to be frivolous and dangerous?
— No BBL
DEAR NO BBL: You have a right to your opinion, and so does your friend. If she wants this surgery, it is her choice to get it.
However, your concern about her health is legitimate, not just your personal opinion about whether the surgery is a wise aesthetic choice. Do encourage your friend to go to her doctor and get evaluated based on her health conditions to see if she is eligible for the surgery. She can be checked out stateside before she goes to another country for the procedure.
Further, she should be sure that wherever she wants to do the surgery has a solid reputation. There are excellent facilities in other countries, but she would need to research them.
After that, leave her alone. Don’t guilt her about her choices. You can state your opinion once, but leave it at that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m worried that a freelance client I’m working with is going to go out of business. The writing is on the wall, so to speak.
Indicators of success that this client has shared have not been met — no matter what we do to improve. They describe it as running into headwinds.
I don’t want to abandon them, but I am also worried about my future. I need this job in order to pay my bills. It is a lot of work, too, so it’s nearly impossible to look for something else while I’m doing it.
I’m at my wit’s end. Do I carve out time to find a new job? Do I pray it will all work out?
— On the Edge
DEAR ON THE EDGE: You are in a precarious situation. Your loyalty is notable, as is the reality that you have to take care of yourself.
If at all possible, save as much money as you can. The writing on the wall should be telling you that you may need to dip into your reserves soon.
Definitely carve out time to look for something else. At the very least, put your feelers out there. Freshen your resume and get a sense of what options exist. That is not being disloyal. That is self-preservation.
Take as many job interviews as you can. This will help you to hone your presentation skills and get a sense of your value in the market. If a solid opportunity presents itself, take it.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
