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Overlook Manners: In my working experience, these guys who ‘don’t do gifts’ are constantly duds

Dear Pass up MANNERS: My 21-calendar year-outdated daughter has been courting a conservative young person given that higher university. He appears wonderful adequate, and he is extremely smart. They are both equally researching small business in college.

She would seem to want to marry him, and I have reservations. I am pondering what your views could be on the following:

He does not give presents, and may possibly skip instances these as wedding anniversaries (if they have them), birthdays, Christmas and all the rest. He says that there is significantly as well substantially commercialization about holidays, and that it forces people today to obtain and obtain items that no just one definitely desires.

I am worried because people today tend to get every single other for granted the lengthier they are married, except if they do the job not to do that. My husband and I have been married for 30 a long time, so I know how easy that is to do. It looks to me like it has by now started off, and she does not even have a ring still.

My daughter is no saint, but she is a offering particular person with a lot likely for her. If he is demonstrating her his appreciation in other strategies, I am not privy to it. In my practical experience, each gentleman who has at any time stated they “don’t do gifts” has turned out to be a dud.

What is your viewpoint? Should I fear?

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Gentle READER: It seems unlikely that you have to have Miss Manners’ authorization to get worried if a likely son-in-legislation is good sufficient for your daughter, but you have it, together with a little bit of tips: Don’t forget that your problem is that he deal with your daughter well, not that he acquire her issues.

You and Skip Manners fully grasp that his position on items is immature, pedestrian and self-serving — not to point out confusing, as most company pupils at least tolerate commerce. But the youthful person thinks it is sensible, modern-day and, the very poor dear, first.

What you need to know is no matter whether there are more important aspects of the younger man’s actions toward your daughter that you need to stress about. Talk to her.

Pricey Miss out on MANNERS: How ought to one respond to a stranger’s questions about one’s ethnicity?

I was examining out of a grocery store when the cashier requested me, “Are you (insert ethnicity below)?” This is not the initial time I’ve been questioned this intrusive, progressively aggravating dilemma by a finish stranger. I consider it is impolite and I do not want to solution.

In this situation, I requested her why she necessary to know. Her reaction was, “Because you glimpse like you’re from there.” The whole conversation aggravated me. I would like to know how, or even if, I should respond to a stranger’s query about my ethnicity.

Gentle READER: “I do not know you that very well. Are the peas on sale?”

Pass up Manners includes the next 50 % by way of illustration of how to alter the subject, not simply because of a premonition about the veggies in your regional grocery.

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You should deliver your thoughts to Miss out on Manners at her site, to her email, or by postal mail to Skip Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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